The man you wanted to win won. Obama won by not losing. Romney won by meticulously avoiding any but centrist views. He was hurt by his insistence in caring about equal rights for women and by his insistence on being for the 100%. Obama was hurt by his coaching which failed to stress the importance of being warm and likeable; talking rather than preaching.

He fell into the Al Gore trap. During Gore's run, his advisers rightly tried to warm his image from wooden presenter to best friend. They made physical changes, moving campaign headquarters out of D.C. down home to Tennessee, changing his wardrobe to earth tones. They didn't have any clue how to get that result into his speeches, but they tried by telling him to get passionate. He interpreted that as meaning "get louder."

That's exactly what Obama did at the beginning of the second debate. He didn't become warm and conversational until he told the story of his mother, father and grandfather struggling to reach for a better life.

I saw Romney winning on style, having been coached to go low key, and conversational with Obama winning on substance.

Romney's problem is still the same: which Mitt are we watching and listening to at this moment. The old coaching cliché still holds true: "Sincerity: once you've learned how to fake it, you've got it made."

(As usual, your comments are welcomed and encouraged.)

If you’d like to receive previous commentaries, e-mail us. Please feel free to share these with your co-workers, clients, and friends.